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Jun 16, 2013

It Takes a Father

Category: Holiday

Keywords: fathers, masculinity, family roles, initiative

Summary:

This Father's Day message looks at the importance of masculinity in a family and what that means.

Detail:

It Takes a Father….

June 16, 2013—Father’s Day

 

Sometimes it’s important to just get back to the basics, right.  Perhaps the most famous story of getting back to the basics comes from football giant, Vince Lombardi.  He’s the coach who turned the losing Green Bay Packers into a team that collected 6 division titles, 5 NFL championships, 2 Super Bowl wins and a 98-30-4 record.  As the story goes, once, after losing a game, he called for a team meeting in the locker room.  As he faced these seasoned, hardened me who knew the game of football inside and out, he held up a football and announced, “Men, this is a football!”  He then began to remind them of some of the most important fundamentals of the game saying, “Guys, we must get back to the basics.”

 

On Father’s Day 2013, I think it’s time to “get back to the basics.”  It seems so self-evident, but in today’s society, the basics about fatherhood are as simple as “It really takes a father to be a father.” 

ILL:  This past Thursday in prayer meeting, one of the men who loves to bring in new weird and wacky articles he’s found on the internet, presented me with an article out of the Huffington Post entitled Biblical Marriage Not Defined Simply as One Man, One Woman.  It’s an op-ed by a trio of “Iowa Religious Scholars,” one from Iowa State, another from the University of Iowa and the third from University of Northern Iowa.  After reading the article, I think they should have stuck to farming. J 

      The article claims that “despite popular opinion, the Bible does not simply define marriage as between one man and one woman.”  They make that statement because the Bible is “a very complex collection of texts” it should not be used “as an authority to enact modern social policy.”  In other words, ditch your simplistic view of monogamous heterosexual marriage.

      These authors claim that since some of the notable Bible characters such as Abraham or David or Solomon were polygamists…and because the Old Testament supported Levrite marriage…that we’re wrong to treat marriage so narrowly as to say it must be between one man and one woman.  One of the authors, Robert R. Cargill, argues that anyone who thinks that “the Bible speaks plainly on one issue, especially something as complicated as marriage…haven’t taken the time to read all of it.”

      Alright, time for a little poll.  Anyone here taken the time to read all of the Bible???  Of those of you who have, are any of you still so naïve as to believe that the Bible advocates for marriage as between one man and one woman, period?  Well, I guess that just goes to show how brilliant… and wrong… Dr. Cargill is. 

      To claim that, because the Bible talks about various forms of marriage such as polygamy or Levirate marriage, it is approving of or advocating for various forms of marriage such as “homosexual marriage” or “polygamous marriage” is the same as saying because a newspaper includes stories about murder or rape or gang violence that the editors of the newspaper are approving of and advocating for murder or rape or gang violence.  The stupidity of such an argument is breathtaking!  The Bible illustrates a whole lot of ugly human behavior.  By this argument, it could be claimed that the Bible supports incest, torture, chopping a dead rape victim’s body into 12 parts and using the Postal Service to mail it to 12 different states across the country, etc., etc. 

      These highly educated but biblically illiterate Ph.D.s fail to point out that there is only one marriage combination God consistently advocates for from Genesis to Revelation and that is marriage between one man and one woman.  Gen. 2:24  tells us about the first man and woman on earth and their marriage when it says, “Therefore, a man (singular, masculine) shall leave his father (masculine, singular) and mother (feminine, singular) and be joined to his wife (singular, feminine), and they shall become one flesh.”  Jesus and the Apostle Paul even went so far as to strengthen that statement in Mt. 19:5 & Eph. 5:31 when they both said, “‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’” Notice they didn’t say “the 3” or “the 600” or “the two men” or “two women.” 

      So the next time someone tries to tell you that the Bible supports a variety of combinations of people as a marriage, stop them in their tracks and educate them a little…even if they do have Ph.D.s and teach at some supposed “institution of higher education”!

 

Which brings me back to the basics about biblical fatherhood. 

1.)    Biblical fatherhood presupposes marriage between a man and a woman.  Nowhere does the Bible support or commend any other basis for fatherhood than committed, faithful, heterosexual marriage between a man and a woman.  Seems kind of simple, doesn’t it?  But nowadays you can’t assume anything.  The biological fact still remains, however, that you can’t produce a child without having the union of a man’s genetic material (sperm) and a woman’s genetic material (egg).  Whether that happens in a Petri dish or the bedroom, God physically designed fatherhood to be linked to marriage. And it also doesn’t work with more than one egg or sperm.   

2.)    Biblical fatherhood presupposes a MAN is dad.  Is this basic enough yet? J  One of the most damning results of the “gay marriage” movement is that it is purposefully creating homes and parents who are purposefully denying the importance of gender differences in both parents and children.  If it doesn’t matter whether or not a child has no father or no mother (even though they may have two mothers or two fathers), then it logically follows that it doesn’t matter one bit whether any child is a girl or a boy either.  If masculinity and femininity related to gender is interchangeable and immaterial, then so is boyhood and girlhood in children.  You might as well dress your son up in a skirt and blouse for school one day and a football jersey the next.  Do you see how absurd this notion of genderless marriage has gotten?!  But biblical fatherhood presupposes there is a man who is the father. 

      So as prejudice and bigoted as it may seem to our modern intellectual elite, the facts remain the same when talking about God’s view of fatherhood: 1.)  it calls for marriage between one man and one woman and 2.)it calls for a man to be the father.  (Never thought you’d have to hear that clarified in a Father’s Day sermon, did you? J)

 

In a world that is trying its darndest to ignore and erase the differences between men and women/fathers and mothers, it’s important to remember that God designed life around differences and contrasts.  Difference is what makes the world work.

Consider…

  • Any book you read:  It’s the contrast of black ink on white paper that makes it work.
  • Isn’t color contrast what makes a scenic vista so beautiful?
  • Dissimilarity makes electricity work, cars run, airplanes fly, bicycles go, doors lock, knives cut and atoms hold together. 
  • Computers:  work by simple binary distinction between ones and twos.
  • God is a god of differences:  the members of the Godhead are distinct and different in roles but one in essence.
  • Mankind is different from all the rest of creation…most of the time.
  • Man is different from woman…despite what radical social engineers want to tell us. 

 

It’s interesting:  though more than 99% of the male a female genetic code is identical, the less than 1% variation influences every single cell in our bodies. 

ILL: Touring PAML last week, a local medical lab that does genetic testing.  We got to see several pages of tests on different people’s chromosomes. They take a single cell’s chromosomes, cut them apart and then, by number 1-23, repair them to observe any abnormalities.  You can tell, without knowing the person, whether they are male or female just from the chromosome in every single cell of their body.  In fact, when the doctor who sent in one sample said it was a woman…and the lab said it was a man…guess who was right in the end?  The doc apparently hadn’t “checked under the hood.”  

            No matter how hard various forces in society try to deny that there are inherent, God-given qualities of maleness and femaleness…or masculinity and femininity…the differences just keep popping up everywhere. 

 

In fact, contrary to what some try to believe, differences between male and female are not just found in the U.S., Canada, Europe or other developed nations.  Studies conducted in the last decade show that even though some specific manifestations may vary from culture to culture, clear and significant and essential differences between males and females are universal. Scientists have found that the tasks and activities performed interchangeably by male and female range from 0 percent to only 35 percent of general human activity.  That means that most of the work in all cultures has clear gender-based distinctions.  It almost leads one to believe that God has actually designed some very distinct and unique differences into men and women for a reason!  You think?  J

 

So what role do fathers particularly and possibly uniquely play in helping children develop into healthy, happy and productive men and women?  What can dad’s do to improve the chances that our daughters become the kind of women God created them to be and our boys the kind of men God designed them to be? 

 

Open question:  What is biblical masculinity?  How would you define the term “masculine”?

Listen to some of the contemporary dictionary definitions:

  • a : male;  b : having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man
  • The Urban Dictionary on-line says this:  “…masculine is…simply what a man does. Assuming responsibility for your actions; being sympathetic, sensitive, and caring…”  Did some feminist write that definition?
  • Contrast that with my father’s 1909 Webster’s “New” International Dictionary definition:  Having the qualities of a man; suitable to, or characteristic of a man; virile; not feminine or effeminate; strong; robust.

 

St. Thomas Aquinas took a stab at a definition in a section of his writings that talk about perseverance (Sec. 138).  He asks, “What are the vices opposed to the virtue of perseverance?”  He singles out a disorder he called “effeminacy”. 

Men, we’re not effeminate, are we?  Here’s what Thomas Aquinas says effeminacy is. 

“Effeminacy…is when we are overly accustomed to pleasure and comfort, when we are afraid or withdrawn from difficult labors and hard work and when we have a disordered desire for pleasure, recreation and rest such that our will becomes weakened and soft.”

DANG!  That IS us, no? 

 

ILL:  When we complain about how hard life is, we’re not being masculine…according to St. Thomas Aquinas.   When we complain about how cold it is…how hard life is…how bad the economy is…etc., that is not being the masculine father children and young people need. 

 

So here is another question that, if you feel squeamish about genuine differences between men and women (in other words, you are “heterophobic”!), you’re probably not going to like.

Open question:  What do fathers/dads bring to the parenting table that women usually don’t/can’t?  What strengths should fathers/dads be uniquely contributing to parenting?  (The interesting thing about this question is that single moms may be some of the most informed and astute people in the room to answer this one.) 

 

Masculinity and femininity has less to do with how much you can bench press or bake in an hour…or whether you prefer guns over guitars.  It has more to do with the character qualities we model and the roles we step up to…or step out of…as men, as fathers and as husbands. 

So what’s THE BIBLICAL BASIS/ROOT OF MASCULINITY & FEMININITY?  In a word:  GOD!

Genesis 1:26-28

  1. 1.      BOTH men and women are in the “image of God”. Therefore, maleness and femaleness are rooted in God’s nature equally.  God is the fountain from which masculinity and femininity flow.
  2. 2.      At the same time, the Bible consistently presents God as masculine. 
    1. a.     Pronouns for God:  from Genesis to Revelation, God is He. Nowhere in the Bible is God referred to as she.
    2. 3.     God's “genderedness” in the Bible, however, does not spring from colorless pronouns alone. The Bible overwhelms us with masculine models and images, offices and roles of God.  Many of them are drawn from the family image:
      1. a.     God is the Father.  As we saw last year on Father’s Day in our then study of John, the book of John presents God the Father as one who cares for us, loves us, teaches us, nourishes us, commands us, gives us his best, knows us deeply, hears, really listens to us and answers us.  Those father-qualities could take up a month of Sundays alone. 
      2. b.     God is the Son (not “God the Daughter”).
      3. c.      God is the Goel, the kinsman-redeemer whose duty was to avenge any wrong done to His next of kin, to buy back what His poor brother had lost, and to marry His dead brother's widow and raise up heirs for His deceased brother. What Boaz did for Ruth, God does for Israel and through Israel for all mankind.
      4. d.     God is the Husband of Israel.
      5. e.      Christ is the Bridegroom, betrothed to His bride, the Church.
    3. 4.     Outside family relationships, God assumes other offices and roles which are invariably masculine and often come from the military or government—
      1. a.     God is a warrior, the Lord of Hosts/Armies (Ps. 24:7ff) who teaches King David's hands to war (Ps. 144:1).
      2. b.     Christ is a King, the King of all kings (Rev. 19:6).
      3. c.      God is a Judge—an enforcer of righteousness and a punisher of the wicked in society (Gen. 18:25, etc.).
      4. d.     Christ is a priest, our Great High Priest (Hebrews 3-10).

That is not to say that God does not have qualities we normally associate with the feminine.  The Bible is full of analogies to God through qualities we normally associate with women/femininity by using language about things like conception, care, nurturing, feeding, holding close, covering, birthing, sheltering, etc.  (Genesis 17:1,2; 28:3; Genesis 35:11; Genesis 48:3,4; 49:25.

The name of God, El-Shaddai, means God Almighty, God All-Powerful. El points to the power of God Himself. But Shaddai seems to be derived from another word meaning breast (shadaim), which implies that Shaddai is one who nourishes, supplies, and satisfies. It is God as El who helps, but it is God as Shaddai who abundantly blesses with all manner of blessings.

 [NOTE:  The debate falls primarily into two camps: egalitarians (from French égal, meaning "equal") and complementarians. Egalitarians (for example, the organization Christians for Biblical Equality) contend that men and women are functionally equivalent and interchangeable in most roles within society, marriage, and the church. Complementarians (for example, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) contend that men's and women's roles within society, marriage, and the Church are different and complementary. Egalitarians claim that men or women can serve as Elders and pastors in the church; complementarians claim that the office of Elder is restricted to males alone (though associate pastors may, in some cases, be women). Complementarians believe in the headship of man in marriage; egalitarians deny that males have any special authority or leadership within marriage.]

So, what are THE IMPORTANT MASCULINE CHARACTERISTICS God calls men to MODEL as FATHERS to our boys-becoming-men & our girls-becoming-women?  Let me suggest a handful.

1.  Be “first over the wall.”  By that I mean, exercise your masculine strength in the right ways—to take initiative, take responsibility and take charge in tackling the enemies arrayed against your children and family.

ILL:  In ancient Rome, an award was given to the warriors or soldiers who were the first to scale the wall of an enemy’s city.  The award was a golden crown or “crown of strength.” 

Know what the term is in Latin for “crown”?  Corona… ”  In this case it was the corona valere, or “crown of strength.” So now you can go home and ask your kids, “Do you know what the name of the reward given to the first man over the wall in ancient medieval battles?  It was a “corona”.   Your kids will probably know exactly what you’re talking about.  “Oh yah, Dad.  That makes sense.  Now I understand why the Romans wanted to be ‘first over the wall.’  They were storming the gates for…a beer, right?!”  I see a new beer ad coming! J

 

Corona valere [valere = to be of worth, to be strong]

As men, we are called to lead, to be active, powerful.  God made men to be competitors, to want to win, to want to be “first over the wall.”  Whether it’s a game of football…or a group of salesmen…or a war…men are called to get off their hind end and get in the game, the adventure or the war. 

      In I Kings 2:1-3, King and father David is giving instruction to his son, Solomon, who is about to inherit his throne.  He basically tells him what being a man is all about.

      “Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying: 2 “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. 3 And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn….”

      Is that what Solomon did?  Nope.  He ended up living to his flesh, not denying it.  He ended up addicted to sexual pleasures and material prosperity, not keeping God’s law and calling on his life.  He got soft and failed to prove himself a man.

ILL:  Anyone here familiar with the story of Sir Godfrey of Bouillon, (France)?  Sir Godfrey (c. 1060 – 18 July 1100) was a medieval Frankish knight who was one of the leaders of the First Crusade from 1096 until his death in 1100. He is buried in Jerusalem, in one of two tombs that sits under the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, right under where many believe Christ died at Calvary

Sir Godfrey was one of the greatest knights in the Crusades of the middle ages.  In 1095 Urban II, the new Roman Pope, called for a Crusade to liberate Jerusalem from Muslim infidels who were either killing or converting by the edge of the sword large areas of the Middle East and North Africa.  Godfrey took out loans on most of his lands, or sold them to raise up and pay an army of thousands of men. 

After 3 years of traveling and fighting to reclaim lands conquered by the Muslims, Sir Godfrey attacked Jerusalem on July 14th and 15th, 1099.  He led his troops from the front by storming the walls.  Since they used ladders to scale the walls, it was a rather risky endeavor.  Though very dangerous, Sir Godfrey is the first up the ladder and over the wall.  He conquers Jerusalem after 100 years of war that had not succeeded in dislodging the Muslims from Jerusalem. 

After the victory, his troops gather to honor him and give him the great corona.  He responds, “No, far be it from me to wear a crown of gold in the city of my Lord where he wore a crown of thorns.”  He refused the title king and the golden crown because of his devotion to the Lord Jesus and his respect for Christ’s eternal kingdom.  People marveled at his integrity, his honesty, his leadership, strength and deep sense of humility and fairness.  Sir Godfrey was a man who championed those ideals from the front.

 

Men, we must be “first over the wall” when it comes to our families.  If we won’t fight for them, who or what are we fighting for?  If we won’t put down the remote and pick up the dish towel…or our kids homework…or the Bible for family devotions…or the checkbook that needs managing…what will we take arrows for?   

Let me give you a few things we need to “take”, walls we need to scale if we are to be modeling to our sons and daughters what real masculinity looks like. 

 

  1. 2.   Take CHARGE! 

By that, I don’t mean autocratically or abusively.  I mean first, realize that God has put you in charge of your marriage and your family.  That is the PRIMARY charge you and I will have in this life.  We become like Adam when we let the leadership of our marriage and family fall to anyone else. 

            Men, the greatest, most precious gifts apart from life in Jesus Christ that God will ever give us are are families.  I’m responsible for mine.  You’re responsible for yours.  No pastor is going to give account to God for your family.  No youth pastor is going to answer for how he did or didn’t teach your children; YOU are.  No teacher is going to answer to God for the kind of education your kids are getting; YOU are!  NOBODY can take your place in leadership of your marriage and family, even if you’re divorced and only see your kids every-other weekend and 3 weeks in the summer. 

            Great things are never accomplished by passive men.  Great families are never built a day at a time by uninvolved men. Parenting is not primarily about going to work and getting a paycheck.  It’s not primarily about buying cars, choosing insurance, changing oil, managing investments or tending the garden.  It’s about RAISING the NEXT GENERATION of MEN & WOMEN. 

            When we get up in the morning, everything we do every day is raising the next generation of men and women.

  • When I get up to read my Bible and pray before the rest of the house does, I’m not only feeding my own soul; I’m feeding the next generation of men and women in my house.  I’m SHOWING them when they get up a half hour later and stumble down the hallway to the bathroom, past the room with the light on and the door a crack and they see dad on his knees praying or reading God’s word, I’m not just “having devotions”; I’m raising young men and women.
  • When I plant a large vegetable garden that needs to be weeded and watered and fertilized and picked all summer long, I’m not raising a garden; I’m raising workers and leaders in my own house-church.
  • ILL:  One Saturday morning couple of years ago, I was headed to speak to a bunch of men at a retreat.  So I thought I would see just how well the gardening I was doing could fit into the leadership development I was trying to do with my boys.  So I threw out a question at breakfast about that day’s yard project—our rose bed in front of the house. I simply posed the question, “How are women like our rose garden?”  I wanted them to see that everything can be a teacher in life, even a simple gardening exercise.  Want to know some of the answers?  “Beautiful, delicate, fragrant, need tending with care, need good soil in which to flourish and grow, go through seasons, can be thorny, can draw bloodJ.)

Fathers, we must not wait for mothers to take charge.  If we do, we will end up with a similarly sinful mess as Adam did.  Most wives are waiting for their husbands to take initiative. 

  • They are waiting for us to take charge of family devotions.
  • They are waiting for us to take charge of remodeling the house…or mowing the lawn…or maintaining the cars…or taking out the trash…or setting the table…or doing the dishes…or managing the retirement funds…or doing the taxes…or helping the kids with the homework…or rooting for our kids at soccer games…or….you get the idea. 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes the list of things I’m supposed to be doing makes me want to crawl under a rock and just curl up in the fetal position for about 3 weeks.  But we must model for our kids and wives that masculinity isn’t passive, it’s active.  Masculinity isn’t soft, it’s hard.  Masculinity isn’t easy; it’s full of lots of effort.  It fights the right battles the right way when you’d rather just sit down in the easy chair.

  • We’re called to be caretakers of the garden of our families.  That IS God’s call to “full-time Christian work.”  And it is a wonderful, high calling. 

 

This is exactly the opposite of what is happening in our modern society.  We are encouraged to become merely spectators and couch potatoes. 

Two of the biggest problems on college campuses for men is a.) pornography and b.) VIDEO GAMES.  Know why?  Because our boys are growing up learning passivity in both adventure and relationships.  So they go for what is easy pleasure instead of working hard to bag life’s deeper pleasures. 

(Story of Daniel’s dorm with one room on the floor with young men addicted to their video games—wouldn’t even pull away long enough to run down the hall to the bathroom; would pee in a cup!) 

More boys by far play video games than have ever hunted or held a gun in their hands.  Pretty soon the same will be true of baseball and football and soccer. 

Why?  It’s easier to stay on the coach in an air conditioned room than out on the field where it’s hot and sweaty.  We’re not raising Sir Godfreys who lead from the front and aren’t afraid of taking it to the enemy. 

Video games are for boys like crack cocaine for an addict.  They literally trigger certain brain chemicals that give kids a feeling they don’t get engaging the real world.   Raising an active, manly boy, is a challenge.  Be active always, not a passive spectator. 

EX:  Real hunting and fishing takes patience, endurance, fortitude.  In the video, you bag the first buck in 3 seconds…but what kind of character is it forming?

We can watch people live their lives on TV OR we can live our lives. Men, WE must limit TV—first the amount we watch and then the amount we let our kids watch.  Limit video games too. 

One of the reasons the younger generation doesn’t get it about problem solving and decision making is that they are not required to do so in everyday life.  The only fights you have about video games are who gets the controller…not how to help Petie and Duan stop fighting so the whole sand lot baseball game doesn’t come to a screeching halt.    Playing sandlot baseball teaches you how to deal with conflict resolution, how to assert yourself and tell someone when they are wrong, how to adjudicate whether the play was safe or out, how to handle pain and ribbing and troublesome people 

 

EX:  A weekend camping or boating or backpacking will do more to teach skills and life than a thousand weekends watching movies.  That’s why I try to take my boys backpacking at least once a year.  They’ve learned all kinds of amazing, memorable things….like how to pull legs off spiders in a tent, how to catch fish…and snakes, how to jump off cliffs into surging rivers...or overcome fear by canoeing through river rapids.  They’ve learned to not feed the bears…they’ve learned that some vistas in life are worth getting hot, tired and sore for.  They’ve learned to forage off the food of the land…to take 5-second baths in ice-cold streams…to and see and appreciate beauty few people get to.

 

Men, masculinity is about taking charge and rejecting passivity. 

 

  1. 2.  Masculinity is also about taking RISKS…and being an EXPLORER.  (I can hear the mothers groaning.)

This is part of masculinity.  Our unique physical orientation is more outward, more action-oriented.  A woman’s self-worth is oriented more within herself.  That’s why more and more women are choosing to leave the workplace.  It doesn’t bring the same sense of fulfillment it does to men.  We’re hard-wired to try new things, launch out, do things we haven’t done before

Women are wired differently when it comes to risks and trying things for the first time.  When was the last time you saw…

  • a girl riding her skateboard down Freya? 
  • a bunch of girls in their back yard trying to blow up a red-ant’s nest with firecrackers? 
  • a group of women and their daughters white-water rafting down the Clark-Fork River?
  • The neighborhood girls handling snakes…or shooting BB guns at each other over the fence…or riding their dirt-bikes off 10 foot cliffs and trying to jump the Little Spokane River at flood stage? 

I’m not talking about taking a bunch of unnecessary, foolish risks.  I’m talking about taking risks that grow your confidence in God and help others trust Him more…

  • stepping out and taking a new job or starting a new business instead of sitting back and carping day after day about the job or boss you can’t stand.   
  • Taking your vacation to go on a mission’s trip somewhere in the world that changes your life and others deeply. 
  • Giving a significant part of your income and energies to Kingdom work, to charities, to needy people instead of hoarding them for yourself or your retirement.
  • Speaking of retirement, how about giving those best years of your life and expertise to a church or organization that is boldly advancing the kingdom of God.  EX:  probably THE most significant impact on my life spiritually during the critical years of figuring out God’s calling on my life was to see my attorney father take the initiative when all his peers at his age were scaling back and planning their next golf game to put in another 20 years of service to  a Bible college.  Men, exploring new frontiers in life IS our call.  The Bible is full of godly men like Noah, Abraham, David, the Apostles and many more who risked their lives to experience God more deeply in this world.   

 

  1. 3.   Take RESPONSIBILITY

First, for OUR MISTAKES. 

True masculinity accepts responsibility.  Weak masculinity shifts blame. 

  • What did Adam do when confronted with his own failure?  He did one of the most despicable, cowardly things he could have done:  he blamed his wife! 
  • Guilty men blame other guilty people.  Masculine men take the blame for what is theirs to own and be responsible for. What should have Adam done even after his wife sinned rather than choose sin with her?  What could he have done?  (Been more like the “second Adam” who literally gave his life for the sins of his bride.)

 

Genuine  masculinity not only takes responsibility for anything remotely related to them; they assume responsibility for the messes of other people. 

Isn’t that what Jesus, the model husband did?  Isn’t that what our Heavenly Father, the model father, does? 

 

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