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Mar 06, 2011

Rules of Engagement, Pt. 2

Passage: Ephesians 4:17-24

Preacher: John Repsold

Series: Ephesians 4-6: Invading Enemy Territory

Category: Ephesians

Keywords: new life, character, lying, stealing, work, truth, transformation, friendly-fire

Summary:

God has given his children a completely new nature, new family and new future. When we live according to the old nature and ways, we are exchanging the greatest life possible for the worst life imaginable. In this passage, Paul reminds us of who we really are in Christ and why we must put aside the old life and clothe ourselves with the new nature, character, thoughts and actions of Christ. This messages looks at how to do that and the specific areas God calls us to do that in.

Detail:

Rules of Engagement, Part 2

Ephesians 4:17-24

Series:  Invading Enemy Territory—Ephesians

March 6, 2011

INTRO: 

      In modern warfare, one of the biggest dangers to troops is not knowing who is friend and who is foe. In the first days of the US and British invasion of Iraq, an American Patriot missile shot down a British Tornado fighter-bomber, while near Basra one British Challenger tank destroyed another.

      Then in a disturbing echo of events in the 1991 Gulf War, an American A-10 plane destroyed a British armored vehicle.

      Too often in modern warfare, it isn’t just battlefield mistakes of misidentified targets that are to blame.  Scott Snook, former head of the Center for Leadership & Organizations at the West Point military academy in New York says, “Inter-service rivalry and the difference in cultures between army and air force, and even within [those branches of the military], are very rarely addressed.” "They are often the biggest contributor to friendly fire."

As an example, he cites the shooting down of 2 US Army Black Hawk helicopters by two US Air Force F-15s in the No Fly Zone over northern Iraq in 1994. The incident, which killed 26 servicemen, occurred in part because the jet pilots had no record that the helicopters would be in the area.

      When asked why the Black Hawks had not been entered on the mission sheet detailing the aircraft in the air that day, the USAF serviceperson responsible said: "We don't consider helicopters to be aircraft."  [To be fair, the official Department of Defense inquiry into the 1994 Black Hawks incident found a string of errors on top of the failure to list the helicopters as aircraft. The helicopters used the wrong ID codes and radio frequencies for the No Fly Zone. And the radios in the air force F-15s used anti-jamming technology that made them incompatible with radios in army helicopters.]

Friendly-fire deaths are called a form of “fratricide”—murder of one’s brothers. 

In the Gulf War, friendly fire accounted for 17% of American deaths.

During World War II, tens of thousands were killed by their fellow soldiers.

And by some estimates, 75,000 French soldiers alone were killed by their own troops in the First World War [5% of military deaths]. 

The course of the Civil War may have changed due to the well-known friendly fire killing of Gen. Stonewall Jackson. The brilliant military strategist was shot by his own Confederate troops, and he died several days later.

[Found at http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3575-military-rivalry-causes-friendly-fire-deaths.html on 3.4.2011]

In today’s scripture of Ephesians 4:25-32, Paul is reminding us that, while we have a completely new nature “in Christ” as children of God, it’s still possible to violate that new person we are and engage in old-nature behavior.  When we do, we not only damage the image of Christ in us; we do damage to the family of God, the church, of which God has made us an important part.  Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally, the effect is the same:  casualties of “friendly-fire.”

Paul will give at least 5 specific violations here to our spiritual “rules of engagement” in this battle we’re all in.  We’re going to look at each one in a moment.  But before we do, I just want to remind you what is at stake here with these and every other sin we choose to engage in.  The passage for this morning is going to illustrate for us why sin is so damaging to the Family of God, the church.  But that is really the 2nd reason why God is calling us not to engage in sin anymore as God’s kids.  The 1st reason was what he said in the previous paragraph:  because it goes against all that we now are at our deepest core as born-again children of God. 

Look at vs. 24 which reminds us what this “new you”, this “new self” that God has given us is all about.  Paul says that we were taught “…to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

      Remember how we talked about that “new self” that was “put on” as being something God has already done.  God isn’t asking us to make ourselves new; He’s telling us he has already done that.  That is why we as God’s children always be more bothered and miserable about our sin than our friends and neighbors who may be doing the same sin but aren’t children of God.  We are actually different people…”new creations”…as Paul said in 2 Cor. 5:17.  From our new birth in Christ on, life for us will only really be found in righteous and holy living.  That’s what God is and that’s what the “new you” has been created to be. 

Let me illustrate it this way.

Try to imagine that your mother was a teenage street girl, one of hundreds of thousands in some squalid slum of some third-world metropolis.   She never knew exactly who your father was.  But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.  There was no such thing as paternity responsibilities or support in that country.  Even before you were born, your fate was set.  You would join the ranks of the impoverished and abused destitute of the world.

      When you were born, your mother hardly gave you the time of day.  Her addictions were now completely dominating her life.  You were just an unfortunate product of her out-of-control lifestyle.  You lived in absolute squalor—your hair infested with lice, your skin constantly bitten by fleas and bed bugs.  Your face was scarred by festering sores.  Sometimes you had food but most of the time you didn’t.  Hours at a time you were left to play… or cry from hunger and neglect…or sit in your own filth…alone.  It was not a childhood even an animal should have had to endure. 

I could go on chronicling year after year the growing abuses you suffered as a child.  The neglect was horrible enough, but the abuse was horrific. 

Then one day, out of nowhere, someone from a different part of the world, someone who spoke a different language, visited your slum. There was something unique about him.  His kind and gentle face didn’t seem to match his rough, muscular yet scarred physique.  His simple, clean clothes were so different from the filthy, tattered ones of everyone in your slum. 

What happened, you’re not quite sure.  But through a course of events you still can’t fully understand to this day, you were invited to join this man’s family.  You were taken to a city whose buildings, streets and water were clean, whose food was plentiful, whose air was unpolluted.  You were shown to this man’s personal mansion and taken to your very own bedroom—larger and packed with more things than you had ever seen an entire family have in your slum.

      There were house servants on every floor, tutors for every subject, coaches for every sport imaginable.  You were woken up each day with a loving kiss and put to bed every night with a personal prayer.  Nothing from kind affection to loving discipline was missing.  It wasn’t exactly heaven as you imagined it. There were still chores to do, homework to complete and disciplines to maintain.  You still got corrected and punished, and you still didn’t like that!

      But you found yourself learning a new way of life—a new language, a new family culture, a new set of friends and even a new way of living.  Fighting for survival had been replaced with more love, more opportunities and more privileges than you had ever dreamed even existed let alone could ever be yours.   

But there was one more thing that made your story almost unbelievable.  None of this new opportunity and privilege was ever forced on you.  From the very beginning it had been made clear that you could leave at any time.  At any time you could return to that life of poverty, of addictions, of squalor and abuse.  You could revert to your old mother tongue.  You could sleep on stained, stinking, flea-infested beds and make your head home to lice again.  You could don the torn and filthy clothes of your former life.  You could fend for yourself and fight for every handful of rotten food.  The choice was yours…the “old life” of squalor or the “new you” of privilege.  Every day that choice was yours, several times a day.

Seated here today, every one of us would wonder why such a child would ever choose anything but the NEW life of privilege and opportunity.  So why is it that we so often choose the life of poverty and squalor when it comes to the life of Christ verses our old life of the flesh?  Our loving Father offers to us opportunity and riches far greater than those of any earthly billionaire, yet we run away from it all time and again just to go back to what is familiar.  We choose head lice and rotten food over heartfelt love and real family. 

Why?  It makes no sense when you step back and look at sin verses the Savior.  It makes no sense when you see what sin does to a person, a family or a church and what God the Father does for people, families and churches.  Yet time and again, by the millions, we wander away from the Father and back into spiritual poverty. 

      That is what Paul is speaking to here when he gives several specific commands in Ephesians 4:25-32.   Let’s read this passage together today.  [Offer Bibles to those who may not have them. J]

 25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Rather than have me yak on and on about each of these commands, I want YOU to be the mouthpieces for the Spirit of God this morning.  Here’s what we’re going to do. 

      There are 5 specific prohibitions in this passage…5 particular sins that are a danger for every one of us.  You may find that one sin is a greater trap for you than another.  This certainly isn’t an exhaustive list of sins so you may not find your own particular nagging sin even in the pile.  But you will find sins that ambush each of us. 

      For whatever reason, Paul has singled out these five sins to use to illustrate the kind of process and transformation God wants to happen to every child of his in every area of our lives. Perhaps he chose these 5 “deadly sins” because of the negative impact they have on the family of God, the church. It is clear that Paul is thinking particularly about what these sins do to our relationship with Him and with each other, the church.

  • Vs. 25—“neighbor…we are all members of one body.”
  • Vs. 32—“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

So, here are the “5 deadly sins” Paul chooses to illustrate the old life we have left.

1.) Vs. 25—falsehood or LYING

2.)Vs. 26--ANGER

3.)Vs. 28--STEALING

4.)Vs. 29—UNWHOLESOME TALK

5.)Vs. 31—BITTENESS & SLANDER

GROUPS:  For about 7-10 minutes, I’d like you to get into groups of 5-7 people.  Get acquainted by name.  Then, as a group, choose which ONE of these five sins you want to talk about.  Then answer these 3 questions about that one sin you chose:

  1. Come up with a DEFINITION of for the sin you have chosen.
  2. How do you see this sin MANIFEST itself in our culture today?  What have become some socially acceptable ways of practicing this sin (maybe “as long as you don’t get caught”)?
  3. What damage does this sin do to the church, to our relationships together as followers of Jesus specifically?
  4. What is its positive/proper counterpart and how does it bring blessing to the church?

____________________-

[Take each sin one-by-one plus the opposing godly behavior.]

1. FALSEHOOD/LYING:  25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Definition:  to make an untrue statement with the intent to deceive.

How do you see this sin manifest itself in our culture today?  What have become some socially acceptable ways of practicing this sin?

  • Exaggeration
  • Cheating—at the cash register, on income tax, on a test/homework,
  • Self-deception
  • Contract-breaking
  • Divorce
  • Flattery
  • “Little white lies”
  • Avoidance of difficult conversations with, “I’m fine,”  “Nothing’s wrong…why do you keep asking me!” 
  • Tardiness
  • Making commitments we don’t intend to keep or don’t make a priority to keep

What damage does this sin do to the church/our relationships as followers of Jesus specifically?

  • It keeps us from really growing as we should.  We end up skirting hard issues with each other when we should be talking about them.  Eph. 4:15—“Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”  Are we willing to risk offending in order to gain growth?
  • Self-deception that leads us to react/respond defensively and in an “offended” manner when others may be pressing us to grow. 
  • Not carrying through with commitments to be in relationship with others—in a ministry team, in a small group, in a Bible study, etc. 
  • In simple unwillingness to let others get close enough to us to know our weaknesses and walk with us in our places of personal immaturity.
  • Breaks faith/trust, the cornerstone and foundation of relationships
  • Puts us back in the camp of the Enemy who is the father of lies (Jn. 8:44)
  • Hardens our hearts (Mt. 19:8)

WHAT is its positive/proper counterpart and HOW does it bring blessing to the church?

  • Helps us face our immaturity
  • Gives us vital feedback that is true
  • Leads us into Christ-likeness
  • Helps us order our life according to truth
  • Leads to trust and bonding
  • Creates a safe, trustworthy environment

2.  ANGER:   26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Definition:  Intense emotional displeasure at perceived or real injustices.

How do you see this sin manifest itself in our culture today?  What have become some socially acceptable ways of practicing this sin?

  • Divorce
  • Verbal abuse
  • Physical abuse
  • Swearing
  • Silent treatment
  • Physical attacks: fighting, vandalism, assault, murder
  • Disrespect of authorities (government, employers, parents, teachers, church leaders, etc.)
  • Ulcers…migraines…
  • Depression
  • Nagging
  • Ignoring, silent treatment

What damage does this sin do to the church, to our relationships together as followers of Jesus specifically?

  • Leads to gossip
  • Leads to breaking of fellowship, isolation, withdrawal from others and God
  • Hatred of those we are called to love
  • Hypocrisy
  • Bad witness
  • Grieves the Spirit of God
  • May not deal with the injustice
  • Usurps God’s role as just judge
  •  LACK of righteous/godly anger: produces indifference to sin, injustice and evil; permits evil to go on unchecked; gives people the wrong view of God

WHAT is its positive/proper counterpart and HOW does it bring blessing to the church?  RIGHTEOUS ANGER

  • Justice
  • Holiness
  • Righteousness—right living towards other people according to God
  • Right fear of God
  • Reverence
  • Freedom from bitterness
  • Defeat of Satanic encroachments

3.  THEFT/STEALING:  28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Gk:  klepto >> kleptomaniac

Definition: to take the property of another wrongfully (without legal or moral consent).

Cost:  Identity theft alone hits 10 million Americans/year.  World-wide it costs some $230 billion/year.

--North American retailers have more employee theft than any other country or region in the world, $42 billion/year, 10 times what the average shoplifter steals.

--Retail theft added $423 to the average American family’s shopping bill last year.

Titus 2:10—written to slaves, the poorest of the day, not to “pilfer” from their masters.  Poverty is no excuse for stealing; it just produces greater tempteation.

How do you see this sin MANIFEST itself in our culture today?  What have become some socially acceptable ways of practicing this sin (maybe “as long as you don’t get caught”)?

  • Not tithing to God
  • Cheating employers by calling in sick when you aren’t, taking office/job supplies that belong to the company, not giving a full day’s work, using the computer for personal things while on the clock, falsifying expense accounts…
  • Cheating on taxes:  not paying certain taxes, enough taxes, overstating deductions or depreciation, doing business “under the table”, etc. 
  • Cheating employees:  not paying appropriate taxes; L & I, promising benefits or work conditions while not delivering on the promise, raiding retirement accounts,
  • Charging excessive interest
  • Taking more return change than is justified; not correcting a tellers/checkers error.
  • Borrowing something/money and not returning it.
  • Not paying for services we receive (rent, utilities, work)

What damage does this sin do to the church, to our relationships together as followers of Jesus specifically?

  • Desensitizes us to the voice of the Holy Spirit
  • Hinders the work of God
  • Keeps us from being a blessing to each other and the lost
  • Leads to idolatry
  • Robs us of God’s character of generosity
  • Destroys fellowship
  • Violates trust

WHAT is its positive/proper counterpart and HOW does it bring blessing to the church?  Honest WORK/LABOR

  • Regular, sacrificial giving to God and others
  • Cares for my own needs
  • Produces opportunities to give
  • Liberality
  • Generosity
  • Kindness

4.  CORRUPT SPEECH:  29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

DEFINITION:  communication that is negative, destructive, morally degrading or otherwise harmful to self and others.

 

How do you see this sin MANIFEST itself in our culture today? 

  • Entertainment
  • TV
  • Course joking
  • Gossip
  • “Kibutzing”
  • Swearing
  • Political talk radio (sometimes)
  • Criticalness
  • Office talk
  • Facebook posts?
  • Saying things in email that you wouldn’t in person 

What damage does this sin do to the church, to our relationships together as followers of Jesus specifically?

  • Wounds unnecessarily 
  • Fractures fellowship
  • Undercuts holiness
  • Causes people to be guarded, suspicious
  • Wastes time setting things straight
  • Discouragement
  • Isolates

What is its positive/proper counterpart and how does it bring blessing to the church?

Speaking only what is for the BETTERMENT of OTHERS; conversation that BUILDS UP OTHERS, encourages, strengthens.

  • Unity, bonding
  • Encouragement
  • Help
  • Edification
  • Blessing

5.  BITTERNESS/MALICE:  31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Definition:  feelings of hatred, indifference or negativity towards others that desires to inflict pain, injury or distress of some sort.

How do you see this sin MANIFEST itself in our culture today? 

  • Divorce, broken families
  • Rebellion
  • Political diatribes
  • Grudges
  • Short-term friendships. 

What damage does this sin do to the church, to our relationships together as followers of Jesus specifically?

  • Fractures fellowship
  • Splits churches
  • Leads people to switch churches often
  • Keeps people from growing and facing personal deficiencies. 
  •  

What is its positive/proper counterpart and how does it bring blessing to the church?

  • Forgiveness, compassion, kindness
  • Going directly to people who have offended you (Mt. 18:15-17)
  • Turns hurt into healing and distance into bonding
  • Grows us up in Christ >> greater Christ-likeness through forgiveness
  • Teaches us through suffering
  • Grace/kindness

CONCLUSION:

      Verse 30 gives us the most important component in this process of rejecting what our old natures wish to do and embracing the new person we are in Christ. 

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

      How often do we live as if THE closest being in the universe to us, God himself through the Holy Spirit, doesn’t really care what we do, say or think? Yet both here and in other places, it is clear that our very words, thoughts and actions have the ability to affect the heart of God himself. 

      Acts 7:51 talks about “resisting” the Spirit while I Thess. 5:19 speaks of “quenching” or “putting out the fire” of the Holy Spirit.  While those terms are stronger than what is state here, do we really realize that our God is one who IS affected by whether we choose at any moment to life according to His life or to turn away from this and go back to the slums of our former life. 

      Parents, this is one reason God allows us to feel the pain of watching our children make poor choices and experience hard consequences in life.  IF we would be “like Christ,” then we must FEEL what God feels when we go back to sin.  He is “grieved.”  He feels pain, sorrow and disappointment.  He is not a disinterested and distant Father who could care less how I feel.  He does not wall himself off or move away so that he does not have to feel that pain.  No, he continues to abide IN us and to share WITH us his sadness at our rebellion. 

      At moments like that, the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23), which we all enjoy bearing and experiencing with each other, ceases.  The agape love of God dries up.  Joy dissipates.  Peace flees.  Patience loses to impatience.  Kindness evaporates.  Goodness of character gets clouded.  Faithfulness is destroyed.  Gentleness is eclipsed and self-control crumbles. 

      And the Spirit of God is grieved, the very Spirit who has insured through “sealing” that we will one day be totally redeemed—body, soul and spirit. 

How does it feel when your actions “grieve” and hurt the love of your life?  At first it bothers you greatly, right?  You want to do anything to make it right, to get right with the one you love.  But if that wound goes untreated, it eventually festers into something that leaves your heart hardened and even void of the very love that you once found so special and valuable with your beloved.  It happens in families between parents and children and between husbands and wives.  And it happens with the Holy Spirit and Christians far too often as well. 

What is the only way to prevent it?  To listen to the Spirit when what we do grieves him.  You know the feeling.  You know the uneasiness that comes in an instant when you’ve said or done something that grieves God.  That’s how we should feel.  That’s WHEN we should respond.  The grave danger is that we will shrug off that nudge, go on our way and take another step away from the intimacy with God. 

      While we do need to stop and think about some of the specific sins that do this to us as we have today, what we really need to do is listen to the Holy Spirit, feel HIS mood, sense HIS response to us.  That will always be the BEST measure of whether our thoughts, words and actions are according to the new creation God has made us or are slipping back into the old life we have left behind to follow Jesus Christ. 

APP:

  • Make a commitment to obey immediately when you sense the Spirit is grieved.
  • In our study of these handful of sins today, is there something God has asked you to change, walk away from, confess and repent of?
  • What is the new, positive, godly quality he has asked you to replace it with?  Will you?