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Jun 28, 2015

Who Needs A Counselor?

Preacher: John Repsold

Keywords: counseling, counselor, friends, wisdom

Summary:

This message looks at the need we all have for godly counsel in our lives, why and what makes for good, godly counselors.

Detail:

Who Needs a Counselor?

June 28, 2015

For the past six or seven years, God has given me the privilege of getting acquainted with Chris and Michelle Buck.  In some ways, we come from very different worlds: 

  • Both of them spent much of their lives in military life, together as Chris served in the Navy; I have never served in any branch of the military.
  • Both of them came to Christ in the 20s; I before I was a teenager.
  • Both of them moved frequently most of their life; I lived in the same house from 0-18 and have lived in Spokane for 2/3rds of my life.

But we both were influenced by some of the same people at critical times in our spiritual development.  We both were ordained by the same Baptist organization and had some of the same people on our ordination councils.  We have share good friendships with some of the same people but never knew each other…until we met here at Mosaic. 

            For the past 3 years, Chris and Michelle have become personal friends and confidants.  On the staff, Chris has officially served as our small group coordinator and staff counselor.  But on a personal level, Chris has served me as a sounding board, a source of wise counsel and a man of real insight and wisdom.  Undoubtedly some of you here this morning have also benefited from Chris & Michelle’s wisdom, friendship and insight.  Some of you may have experienced that wisdom as Chris has provided personal counseling to you. 

            So it is with no small degree of gratitude mixed with a fair amount of sadness that we are bidding them farewell today.  God is calling them to engage more deeply and at closer range with their children and grandchildren in Oregon.  So today, after this service, they are hopping in their car and heading out of Spokane for Salem, Oregon. 

            So, after much thought and some prayer, I’ve decided to depart from what has been our focus in Galatians for several weeks and use this opportunity to look at what God has to say about the need every one of us has for good, godly and wise counsel, no matter who we are or where we are in life. 

But before we jump into this, I want to present something to Chris and Michelle.  And I want to ask Chris a few questions about the ministry of counseling God has given him through the years. 

First, a gift.  Now I don’t actually have it here today…but it is on its way to you.  Yes, I’m a bit of a procrastinator.  But I’m also a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to wanting to find the right gift.  So here is a little precursor of things to come to your home in Salem.  We want you to remember your Spokane roots and the nearly 10 years of your life that you’ve spent in this city on your spiritual journey towards living forever with God.  We hope that every time you look at this picture you will remember that you brought a river of refreshing to people here in this city.  And I hope that you will continue to pray for God’s grace and goodness to rest on Mosaic Fellowship. 

Now, I want to ask you, Chris, a few questions about counseling that will help lead us into God’s word today. 

On a personal level,

  • Why are you attracted to the ministry of counseling?
  • When do you think people benefit most from a counselor?
  • What do you find rewarding about the ministry of counseling?
  • What do you find hard to handle about counseling?
  • What difference does your relationship with Jesus Christ make to you as a counselor?

[Pray for Chris & Michelle and their next step in life.]

Let me begin our time in God’s word today by asking you a question:  WHEN do you think someone needs a counselor?  WHEN have you sought counsel?  [Solicit different answers.  In essence, it is when they need helpful, truthful and life-building insight and wisdom into some aspect of life impacting them.]

The Bible has much to say about WISDOM.  Wisdom is simply knowing what is the true and right thing to do in any situation and then having the good sense to actually DO it. 

            There is not a single choice or decision in life that does not need wisdom.  We need wisdom at every turn in life.  In other words, we need to know what is the true and right thing to do in every decision we make and then the good sense to actually DO it. 

ILL:  As I thought about this, the first question to come to mind was, “Really, John?  You make thousands of decisions a day that don’t matter a hill of beans.  Do you really need wisdom to, say, get dressed in the morning?  Is there a ‘true and right’ way to say, choose a pair of sox for the day?” 

            If reflecting God and His amazing nature is living wisely, then, YES, I can make a choice about the sox…or pants…or shirt that I wear that will be a “foolish, stupid, unwise and even un-godly” choice. 

  • Wisdom helps me choose items of clothing that allow me to reflect Christ every day rather than detract from Him.
  • If I chose pants that were 4 inches too short and sox that were florescent yellow this morning, would that point you to Jesus…or raise so many questions about my judgment and mental state that you couldn’t concentrate on God or hear from Him today?
  • That doesn’t mean that I have to stop and agonize in prayer every morning over which pair of socks I’m going to put on that day. Over the years I’ve learned that certain socks are less distracting than others.  So I simply order my daily sock-choice according to what will help me be a man the can help others see Christ that day rather than be focused on or distracted by me. 

So this need for wisdom…this need to order our lives around God and what conforms to His nature…should lead us directly back to 1.) a growing relationship with God, and 2.) a relationship with God that wants to constantly know and obey His will/counsel in life.

If we were to do a study of every time God’s word talks about receiving or giving counsel in life, we would quickly realize some things about our need for counsel and counseling.

First, wise counsel on how to live life well is found in God himself. 

Over and over again the Bible presents God as THE divine Counselor we all need. 

  • In Isaiah 9:6 we are told the coming Messiah (who we now know is Jesus) will be known by name and function as “Wonderful Counselor”

“For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
    and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

We know that Jesus promised in John 14:16-17 to “ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor/Helper/ Advocate, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth….”

So clearly God himself is that very counselor we need to know what is the right thing to do at every turn in life. 

And the really good news is that God is willing and actually eager to fulfill that role of divine counselor all the time.  Listen to a couple of powerful verses in this regard.

  • Job 12:13—Job tells us, “To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are His.”
  • Psalm 32:8—God tells us through his servant King David, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” “God wants to direct, guide and counsel us the way to live every moment of every day!
  • Proverbs 21:30 tells us, “No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the Lord.” If we choose the wrong counsel…godless counsel…even if it sounds true and right, it will fail.  Life will fail. 
  • Psalm 1:1 says as much but in a positive way when it begins that amazing book of wisdom this way: “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers….”  That’s a nice way of saying, “DON’T…don’t get your counsel about life from godless people, from people who love to sin, from people who scoff at God and His word.”
  • Psalm 33:11--The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations.

Wise counsel on how to live well starts, flows and ends with God.  We will not find the wisdom we need to live life well at every turn unless we begin, move and end with looking to God for that. 

Secondly, HOW can we determine what is, in fact, the counsel of God on any given matter, any time?  [Solicit responses.]

  1. Being immersed in the Word of God. 119:24 says this about the counseling power of the Word of God.  “Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.”

ILL:  Dottie’s question to me last night at my 40th Class reunion—“What are you doing in your daily devotional time with God?” 

  1. Praying all the time…about everything. (I Thess. 5:17—“Pray without ceasing.”)
  2. Being surrounded by and in life-shaping relationship with PEOPLE who give godly counsel. Listen to what Solomon, the wise man of old said about the need for good human advisers and counselors:  15:22.  “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

I want you to see this principle in action in one of the sadder stories of the O.T.  But first let’s set the stage with regard to who the players are. 

I Chronicles 27 is sort of a matter-of-fact recitation of who the leaders of Israel were during King David’s time.  When the chronicler gets to David himself, here is what he says:

32 Jonathan, David's uncle, was a counselor, being a man of understanding and a scribe. He and Jehiel the son of Hachmoni attended the king's sons.33 Ahithophel was the king's counselor, and Hushai the Archite was the king's friend. 34 Ahithophel was succeeded by Jehoiada the son of Benaiah, andAbiathar. Joab was commander of the king's army.

NOTE:  We all need counselors…and we all need friends.  Difference?  There need not be.  Proverbs 27:9 tells us that “…the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”  Really good friends will provide really good counsel into our lives. 

            And sometimes really good friends will speak words that seem to wound us.  Just three verses earlier in Prov. 27:6, Solomon tells us, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”  Good friends will tell us the truth, even when the truth hurts.  Not everything that hurts is truth.  But the truth, even presented in the gentlest of ways, will sometimes sting.  At least when it comes from a real friend, we can know that, thought painful, it flows from genuine love.

But we can also benefit from people who are simply wise, people who understand enough about life that they know what should be done when in order to bring about a successful outcome.   Here is where Ahithophel and Hushai come in.  Turn to 2 Samuel 15:30.  Here we have one of the sadder stories of the Old Testament.  The back story is that David has allowed a really bad relationship to develop between him and his son Absalom.  The net result was that Absalom curried the favor of enough important people in Jerusalem to enable him to overthrow David, his father, and have himself proclaimed king of Israel in his father’s place.  David was forced to flee Jerusalem and go on the run until a future time when he could defeat his own son’s army.  So we pick up the scene with David fleeing Jerusalem, heartbroken and shamed.  2 Sam. 15--

32 While David was coming to the summit, where God was worshiped, behold, Hushai the Archite came to meet him with his coat torn and dirt on his head.33 David said to him, “If you go on with me, you will be a burden to me. 34 But if you return to the city and say to Absalom, ‘I will be your servant, O king; as I have been your father's servant in time past, so now I will be your servant,’ then you will defeat for me the counsel of Ahithophel. 35 Are not Zadok and Abiathar the priests with you there? So whatever you hear from the king's house, tell it to Zadok and Abiathar the priests. 36 Behold, their two sons are with them there, Ahimaaz, Zadok's son, and Jonathan, Abiathar's son, and by them you shall send to me everything you hear.” 37 So Hushai, David's friend, came into the city, just as Absalom was entering Jerusalem.

Now skip down to 2 Sam. 16:15ff-- 15 Now Absalom and all the people, the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him. 16 And when Hushai the Archite, David's friend, came to Absalom, Hushai said to Absalom, “Long live the king! Long live the king!”17 And Absalom said to Hushai, “Is this your loyalty to your friend? Why did you not go with your friend?” 18 And Hushai said to Absalom, “No, for whom theLord and this people and all the men of Israel have chosen, his I will be, and with him I will remain. 19 And again, whom should I serve? Should it not be his son? As I have served your father, so I will serve you.”

So now you have David’s former chief counselor turned traitor, Ahithophel, and his true friend, Hushai the Archite, both embedded in the new administration of seditious Absalom.  Ahithophel is there to consolidate Absalom’s power and make his overthrow of his father succeed.  But Hushai is there to frustrate Ahithophel’s counsel and be a spy that informs David through the priests what Absalom is up to and what he is planning to do to destroy David. 

So we come to chapter 17 which is the real meat of this story.  Moreover, Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue David tonight. 2 I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged and throw him into a panic, and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down only the king, 3 and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride comes home to her husband. You seek the life of only one man, and all the people will be at peace.” 4 And the advice seemed right in the eyes of Absalom and all the elders of Israel.

5 Then Absalom said, “Call Hushai the Archite also, and let us hear what he has to say.” 6 And when Hushai came to Absalom, Absalom said to him, “Thus has Ahithophel spoken; shall we do as he says? If not, you speak.” 7 Then Hushai said to Absalom, “This time the counsel that Ahithophel has given is not good.”8 Hushai said, “You know that your father and his men are mighty men, and that they are enraged, like a bear robbed of her cubs in the field. Besides, your father is expert in war; he will not spend the night with the people. 9 Behold, even now he has hidden himself in one of the pits or in some other place. And as soon as some of the people fall at the first attack, whoever hears it will say, ‘There has been a slaughter among the people who follow Absalom.’ 10 Then even the valiant man, whose heart is like the heart of a lion, will utterly melt with fear, for all Israel knows that your father is a mighty man, and that those who are with him are valiant men. 11 But my counsel is that all Israel be gathered to you, from Dan to Beersheba, as the sand by the sea for multitude, and that you go to battle in person. 12 So we shall come upon him in some place where he is to be found, and we shall light upon him as the dew falls on the ground, and of him and all the men with him not one will be left. 13 If he withdraws into a city, then all Israel will bring ropes to that city, and we shall drag it into the valley, until not even a pebble is to be found there.” 14 And Absalom and all the men of Israel said, “The counsel of Hushai the Archite is better than the counsel of Ahithophel.” For the Lord had ordained to defeat the good counsel of Ahithophel, so that the Lord might bring harm upon Absalom.

            The passage goes on to tell us how Hushai’s counsel and actions were relayed to David.  But the important thing I want us to notice here is that good counselors can become evil counselors unless they are ground solidly in deep commitment to God above all else. 

            Ahithophel’s counsel, had it been followed, would have actually resulted in David’s defeat and probably death had not God “ordained” to defeat Absalom and bring about his defeat. The counsel was “wise” in that it would have led to Absalom defeat.  Absalom would have won a short-sighted victory.  That’s the way the world will always abuse and misuse wisdom—sacrificing long-term blessings of God for short-term power by men. 

APP:  This, by the way, is precisely what has happened with the latest Supreme Court decision on gay marriage.  From the beginning of time right up till today, God’s design for human sexuality has always been for it to be within marriage between one man and one woman.  But the “wisest” counselors in our land today have decided God doesn’t know what He is talking about.  They have willed that our culture’s definition of marriage include sexual unions that God prohibits.  The long-term (and perhaps even short-term) effect will be the destruction of our culture.  We cannot redefine God’s truth nor break it without serious consequences. 

Absolom found that out the hard way.  2 Samuel 18 goes on to tell the story of his own destruction and death just a matter of days later.  Good counselors can become evil counselors the moment they depart from God and His wisdom. 

            By the way, notice what happened to Ahithophel when he realized Absolom had rejected the human “wisdom” that would have led him to a temporary military victory. 

2 Samuel 17:23-- 23 When Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his donkey and went off home to his own city. He set his house in order and hanged himself, and he died and was buried in the tomb of his father.

            Wow, talk about a sore looser!  J  It was probably more than that.  Knowing that Absalom would now fail in his attempts to defeat David, he knew his days were numbered.  He may have known that, as a traitor, his days were numbered.  So rather than have to face death before King David whom he had counseled so faithfully for so many years, his shame probably drove him to suicide. 

So here we see the double-edged sword that human counselors can bring to our lives.  One the one hand, they can give perspective and wisdom that will help us navigate the difficult waters and decisions of life.  But on the other hand, the moment our “counselors” move away from seeking the will of God first, they can become people who lead us to our ultimate demise and even death. 

So as we bring this to a close, let’s ponder some questions that will help us live life more wisely and experience God more fully.

  1. Where does all truly wise, godly council ultimately come from? Answer:  God himself.
  2. How can we obtain such godly, life-blessing counsel? Answer:  the Word of God, godly people, people who give counsel that agrees with God’s nature and truth.  (This would allow for good counsel from people who aren’t even Christ-followers.  But we will need to be very careful and vigilant about checking it against the Word of God and the wisdom of God.)
  3. What kinds of people/counselors are best for helping us live life in the wisdom of God? Answer:  truly godly, Christ-centered and Christ-directed people. 
  4. Who are the godly “counselors” of your life? Take a few seconds to jot down their names—people you know you can go to and you will hear the truth of God and wisdom of God when they speak because they are people who walk with God.  (Challenge people to develop “wisdom-groups” like the Friday men’s group I am a part of and have been for 8 years.)
  5. Why do people not seek counsel from godly people when they should?
  6. What is keeping YOU from doing so? (Contact one or more of the people on your list of “godly counselors” in your life and make it happen!)

COMMUNION:  a reaffirmation that…

  • We are fallen sinners who need a Divine Counselor.
  • We agree with God’s Word/counsel about our need for confession of sin and redemption from that sin through the only God and Savior Jesus Christ.
  • We submit to the wise Counselor of our souls and freely receive God afresh into our souls and the wisdom/counsel He is and brings to us.